I think I hate school

I have spent so much of my life going to school.  From the age of 5 until now at nearly 30 years old (with a 2 year hiatus in there) I have pursued formal education.  I have jumped through the hoops that these various “teachers” have put up to get a passing (or better) grade.  I have worked to meet whatever requirements I was told I needed to meet, and now I’m wondering why.  What is the point of all this formal education?  So that I can receive some stupid paper that says I’m somehow more qualified that Joe Shmo down the street for the job I want?  So that I can show the world that I bought into this farce and went into debt and played the game that other people want me to play?

Until this semester, I never seriously questioned the validity of formal post-8th grade education.  I never really wondered if the hoops I’m being forced to jump through are worth the “paper” prize.  I was unconcerned with the fact that some stranger, whose qualifications have not been proven to me, would have the ability to say that I’ve jumped through their hoop satisfactorially.

I have spent so much time in school, and I am tired.  I am tired of spending money that I don’t have on classes to receive a degree that I don’t really believe has a place in this world.  I know that this will raise the hackles of every MLIS holder and student, but this is how I’m feeling right now.

This all stems from the past 3 weeks in this final semester at SJSU’s SLIS.  I wrote what I thought was a solid paper for the e-portfolio I have to complete.  I wrote the same type of paper I’d written for any number of courses, but somehow it just didn’t fit the bill.  It wasn’t “satisfactory.”  I was asked if I’d even read the handbook.  (For the record, yes, 3 times).  I was asked if I’d looked at the examples.  (For the record, yes, at least once a semester since I started).  So, I asked for better guidelines and rewrote the paper based on that.  Apparently my head is so far up my ass that I can’t write a decent paper.

I followed your damn format.  I used more formal language than I ever use. I tried to jump through your hoops, to answer your rudely stated and poorly spelled demands only to be basically told that I’m too dumb to write a paper.  Thanks.

You know, since you’re basically my supervisor for this semester I’ll let you in on a little secret.  Even when you’re telling people they’re wrong, stupid, or somehow failing your expectations, you need to tell them something nice.  Otherwise they’ll wonder why they’re even trying when you obviously don’t think they can do anything right.

So I’ll talk on the phone with you as you requested.  Somehow I’ll find the time for it in between the 12 hour work day and taking care of my home and family.  But I’m not confident that it’ll do much good.  You see, I’m pretty sure that you don’t like me.  I’m pretty sure you’ve read this blog and you don’t like what I’ve had to say.  But that’s OK.  I’ll find a way to jump through your hoops.  I’ll figure out how to earn that “satisfactory” grade so that I don’t have to deal with you any more.  And then I think I’m done.

Before this semester I’d thought about attending more classes, focusing on computers/web design.  But now?  Now I think I hate school, and I have you, dear adviser, to thank for it.

1 Comment

  1. I am truly sorry that for your last project you had to deal with an instructor who doesn’t know how to talk to people. I hope that other instructors were both professional and human.

    It isn’t unusual to be ready to get out already when you are down to the wire. The first thing I thought about was being in labor. There is a moment (or two) when all you want to do is get off the train and beat your husband while you are at it. I know this isn’t exactly the same, but with a little distance, you will see value in the work you have done and be very very proud.

    I know I am very proud and happy for you.

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