Tinkerbell Half Marathon

It’s time for a race recap!

Last weekend I ran (and walked, and hobbled) my way through the 13.1 mile course that made up the Tinkerbell Half Marathon in Anaheim. My husband was by my side the whole way. 🙂 I also ran the same race in 2012 and I remember thinking “ugh, this was a dumb idea”… and then I signed up for it again. Silly, right?

DH and I had grand plans for our training when it came to this race. We’d planned on completing Couch to 5k (AKA C25K), then Bridge to 10k, and then continue adding miles until we reached the 13 mile distance. With my depression, injuries, and lack of drive, and his injuries and illness… let’s just say training was an afterthought.

Last year I didn’t get to train for the month before the race because of the injuries I sustained during a training run. At 6:30am I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and bounced several times on my chest, hips and head. I passed out twice. A homeless person said hello. I had no idea where I was but somehow managed to call my brother for help. Basically, I got a concussion, broke my nose, cracked a rib and scraped every bony protrusion. I ran the race anyway, even with my still cracked rib. I can be determinedly stupid sometimes.

This year I ran with no real training and with tendonitis in my ankle – again with the determinedly stupid.

Last year, the race had soooo many spectators and performers along the route. It was awesome! There were marching bands, cheerleaders, hula dancers, UPS guys, Red Hat Ladies, neighbors and more the entire way. This year? Not so much. I felt bad because I’d talked it up to DH, and this year the race didn’t provide. 😦 It wasn’t all bad, though. There was a Michael Jackson impersonator, and the Red Hat Ladies (who are totally awesome BTW) took up a whole block. And some of the neighbors even came out with their iPods and boom boxes to play music for us along the way.

I did well until about mile 7. Then it all went downhill. Running became sooo much harder. My legs were stiffening up. My ankle started hurting again. I was getting cranky and annoyed with the whole damn thing. Around Mile 10 my mood started to improve. My husband remarked on my improved speed (my jogging speed is his walking speed). I even ran for a minute or so. Then I walked again.

At mile 13 the finish line was in sight. It looked like a straight shot so I said “I’m gonna run this thing!” Then I hit the first curve and felt like crying. I walked until the finish line was truly in sight, then we jogged our way there. DH and I jumped over the finish line hand in hand at 3:28:56.

Now, I’m doctoring my toenails and left achilles. I have blisters under 4 of my toenails. It looks like I’ll probably lose 3 with all the strange colors they’re turning. Oh well… they’ll grow back. I’m also getting ready to show my finisher’s medal to my mom. She was my reason for making sure I finished this time. Before I left, she said she wanted to see my medal – so she’ll definitely see it! 🙂

I’m also planning out a new training program for our next half marathon. Maybe we’ll budget for the Wine and Dine Half Marathon in Orlando this year. It all depends on if we buy a house and if I can talk my husband into it… we’ll see!

I made poor food decisions pretty much the entire weekend. So, now I’m getting back on track and working towards my weight loss goals. I’m not going to beat myself up too much about the food choices at Disneyland. It was a vacation, I didn’t go hog wild, and I know what I need to do to be healthier.

That’s all for now!

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2013 Goals

So, I’ve been thinking about my goals for the coming year. Of course I’ll be focusing on my health. Particularly on losing the weight that I’ve regained. Last week I was at 176 lbs, my goal is to get back down to 145.

It’s completely ridiculous for me to be yo-yoing in my weight, especially since I know what I should be doing. I know how to lose the weight. I know that being lazy, weak and complacent is what got me back up there. And I know that my poor health choices have been at least partially a result of the stress around all the mom stuff.

So there. Goal #1, get back down to 145 by making healthy food choices the majority of the time, and by intentionally sweating (aka exercise) 6 days a week.

My other goal has to do with quilting. I went through and organized my fabric. I had no idea that I had so many “kits” put together that are just waiting to be sewn and quilted. I definitely have enough to keep me busy for the next year. So my goal is to complete the kits and UFOs (Un-Finished Objects) that are sitting there in the grocery bags awaiting my attention. I’m also placing a moratorium on buying new fabric, except as needed to complete the goal (like for backings and bindings).

So that’s goal #2.

I think 2 goals is plenty for this year, especially with everything else going on – mom, trying to buy a house, and general life.

Prizes are still coming. I’m thinking every 10 pounds I get a little prize. I think I get a little prize for every completed quilt.

Prizes are things that I like, but that I can never justify the cost for…
Haircut (10 lbs gone)
Massage (20 lbs gone)
Movie with popcorn and snacks (30 lbs gone)

I’ll need to re-count my projects to come up with the right number/scale of prizes. I’ll post again later once I’ve figured that out.

Updates…

Update on Mom:
Those of you who know me in real life have probably heard that my mom is in hospice now. Her condition has declined a lot. Long story short, her last stroke basically advanced her dementia to the point that she’s having trouble swallowing, she’ll spit out her meds if you don’t trick her into taking them, she doesn’t recognize us kids, she can’t sit up (she basically sleeps all day), and she can’t communicate meaningfully. Every time I see her I want to cry. I usually do.

Update on household stuff:
We’ve been looking for a house to buy, but we keep getting outbid. The last house we put in an offer on had over 50 bids! Insane, right? There’s just not a lot on the market right now so everything is going for so much over the asking price and there are soooo many bids!

DH and I have been working through cleaning up our house. We’ve realized that the clutter is really stressful, and the best thing we can do is start to reduce. It’s also a good thing because it means that if we ever buy a house we’ll have less to move!

Update on quilting:
I made my first minky quilt. Man, that sucked. The quilt was cute, but minky is a bitch to work with! I also went to a quilt retreat and finished 3 quilt tops and sandwiched the Christmas quilt. I haven’t done any other sewing, though.

As part of my decluttering, I’ve been trying to organize the fabric, patterns, batting and quilt books so that they don’t take up as much space and are easier to find. I discovered that I have “kits” of at least 5 different quilts, I have at least 7 different tops finished that need quilting, and I have a TON of other fabric. *sigh* No matter how much I organize and reorganize it just doesn’t make it any easier to quilt.

Update on health:
I finally went to see a psychologist. I realized that I’m pretty depressed and I have been for awhile. It all came to a head with the latest mom stuff. So I’m talking it through with a doctor. It seems to be helping a little bit.

It’s really hard to work up the gumption to run – and I have a half marathon with DH in January. He’s been good about trying to get me to run, but it’s hard to want to do it. My ankle kinda hurts after my run on Sunday. I’m hoping that wrapping it will help with keeping the training going.

So I think that’s it. I’m looking forward to the new year and the resolutions it always brings. I know at least one of them will be sewing related, and another will be health related. It’s just a matter of figuring out what I want them to be.

TTFN and Merry Christmas!

Today’s Realization

Instead of our normal Sunday routine, in which DH and I putter around the house after our morning Starbucks and grocery shopping, we met some friends in Berkeley for an afternoon of hanging out and catching up with one another.  My brother came too.  It was really nice to see them all – especially since most of their get togethers happen when I’m at work or have other plans.

The morning started out OK.  I woke up with a headache and a bit of an achy back and neck.  Grr…  I weighed myself for my Sunday check-in and found that I’d lost 6 pounds in the past week.  Don’t get too excited or worried, though.  I know a lot of that was probably water weight that I’d gained from eating those bags of chips and theme park food the week before.  The weight loss should slow down to something more reasonable soon.

After that, I put together a menu for the week and a grocery list.  We headed off to Starbucks where I was able to make a deliciously healthy decision because of the nutritional info from their website.  Then it was time to buy some groceries before we headed out to Berkeley.

We wandered around downtown for a bit.  I found a great cookbook at Half Priced Books.  A man with some kind of mental illness tried to talk to me.  DH and my brother wondered if I knew him because he was so excited to see me.  I don’t – I just give off pheromones for homeless and crazy people.  We met our friends at Games of Berkeley (great shop BTW, and locally owned too), followed by a late lunch at Jupiter.

I perused the menu and picked out a delicious red and gold beet salad with goat cheese and champagne vinaigrette.  I paired it with a refreshing beer and enjoyed my time with friends.  About 3/4 of the way through my beer – long after my salad was eaten – I was hit with a familiar craving.  If there was a plate of cookies in front of me, or a cake, or brownies, or ice cream… any sweet yummy goodness really… I would have eaten it without thinking twice.  I would have kept on eating until it was all gone or I was too stuffed to eat another bite.  Luckily there weren’t any sweets nearby, and I was forced to ignore this craving until it went away.

We came home and I had another beer. And started another.  I know, I know, you don’t have to tell me that multiple beers don’t fit in with a healthy eating plan.  About then, I decided to make our lunches for tomorrow.  I was so excited to pack those pre-packaged snack packs that are about 100 calories and contain those special little treats.  You can imagine my heartbreak when I flipped over the individual packs to read several hundred calories and way too many grams of fat in that little nutritional box.  I guess DH is getting all the snack packs he can stomach.  Me? I get to make healthier decisions.  *sigh*

I finished my beer and put the bottle into recycling.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw a forlorn little cookie snack pack.  I said “I need to eat the cookies!” I opened the package, took one cookie and popped it into my mouth.  DH immediately jumped up and said “Give me those cookies.  They’re not good for you.  I’m supporting your healthy eating and you can’t eat these.”  I knew he was right, but I pouted anyway.

OK… so this long, rambling story has a point: I can’t drink and make healthy eating decisions. I realized this as I was pouting in my corner of the living room, acting like a child because my loving husband saved me from making a decision that I would become upset about later.

I had been reading this book called Almost Alcoholic (ISBN 9781616491598), which is about recognizing and addressing drinking that can’t be defined as alcoholism but is still outside the realm of “normal” drinking.  The authors explain that a lot of people become depressed when drinking habitually because alcohol lowers inhibitions, including your inhibitions towards certain feelings.  That’s why people who are normally mild mannered may become angry or mean when they drink, and shy people may become more outgoing.  In my case, alcohol not only lowers my resistance to cravings for sweets, it also lowers my inhibitions when it comes to pursuing them.  So, I’ll avoid drinking except under planned special circumstances so that I don’t make decisions that I’ll regret later.

By the way, the book is really interesting, and is the first in a series of “Almost Effect” books.  The idea is that there are a number of behavioral and physical problems that fall outside the realm of “normal” but aren’t quite enough to be considered “full-blown.”  I don’t think I’m on the “almost alcoholic” spectrum, but I do recognize the behavioral change that happens when I drink.  Since sweets are usually pretty easy to get my hands on, I’ll just avoid the trigger (alcohol) to control my intake of sweets.

Just thought I’d share my epiphany for today.  Now it’s time to head to bed.  I have an early, busy day tomorrow.

 

Back on the Wagon

I haven’t really been watching what I eat.  I also haven’t been exercising.  Those two things combined have made me gain 12.5 pounds in the last 111 days (weight according to my Wii).  That’s on top of the 15 pounds I gained towards the end of 2011/beginning of 2012.  Ugh.

I could tell that I’d gained weight.  After all, my clothes were fitting tighter, it was more tiring to go upstairs, and it was a lot more difficult to keep up with DH’s normal walking speed.  A couple of weeks ago I found myself actually getting mad at him and thinking he was walking faster on purpose – I guess I just didn’t want to admit that I’d gotten fatter and slower.

C25K is a lot more difficult this time around too.  DH and I started C25K a few weeks ago as part of our preparation for the Tinkerbell Half in January.  We’re on week 4 day 2… the other 3 weeks weren’t a picnic.  I found myself strangely reluctant to do something that I’d found so much joy in before.  Yet another sign of being fatter and slower.

So, starting mid-morning yesterday, I got back on the fitness wagon.  I ate healthy foods. I went to the gym and lifted weights.  When DH got home, we went for a run.  And today I’ve eaten according to my plan.  In the interest of full disclosure, I’m planning on starting Alli again.  It worked really well for me in 2008-2009 when I lost 43 pounds on it.  I kept most of the weight off from 2009-2011, and I’ve just gotten suckier at doing what I need to do.

I am pretty hungry though.  And all that damn chocolate, marshmallows, and convenience food isn’t making the munchies go away any quicker.  It’s just about time for my next snack and more water.  Hopefully that’ll last until dinner.  Dinner tonight will be hoisin glazed chicken with seasoned couscous and roasted veggies.  Sounds awesome, doesn’t it?

So, that’s it.  I just need to not be fat, slow, and lazy any more.  And I need to figure out how to stay that way once I achieve my goals.

 

OH! That’s another thing.  My first weight loss goal is 8 pounds.  I need a prize for when I get there…

April 2012 Project

Here’s my April project. It’s a quilt, done in batiks (and batik imposters). One of my coworkers saw a pile of the fabric on my desk and asked if she could have the quilt when it was done. I said yes, and the rest is history.

The back is far from perfect, but C was thrilled anyway. She said that nobody had made a quilt for her before – not even her mom who has made quilts for other family members. So, I hope you enjoy your quilt, C!

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This is the front. Pretty colors! It’s on a full sized bed so it’s pretty big. It’s supposed to be a twin sized quilt.

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A closeup of the borders and quilting. The bulk of the quilt was done in a hearts and flowers pattern. The borders alternates between hearts, flowers and curlicues.

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The back. This fabric was originally going to be living room curtains. I think it works better as a backing.

Weight Loss TV

I’m not a big fan of TV in general.  I don’t really have the time to watch it, especially specific shows every week.  I do try to make the time to watch weight loss TV shows like The Biggest Loser on Hulu, though.

I’ve tried to analyze why I like this particular type of TV as opposed to regular shows or other reality tv.  I think it’s because I can see parts of myself and those I love in the people on these shows.  And I always love the transformations they go through and the emotional growth I see.  But I’m still dissatisfied – probably because the people on these shows are so overweight that they’re in even worse condition than most of the people I know.

I wish they’d make some kind of weight loss/healthy living show for people who don’t need to lose hundreds of pounds.  They need to make a show for people that really only need to lose 40 pounds or learn how to cook healthy foods or fit everything in with a super busy life.  It’s not just about the weight loss for the average person in my life.  It’s about other things as well.

I know the spectacle sells, but it doesn’t reflect the majority of what I see in my life.  I wish TV did sometimes.

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